The dreaded Boy's Weekend.

I dreaded this past weekend for weeks. I knew that Big Red was going to be away at his Boys Weekend and Little Red and I would be left all alone. Other Red and I decided to just make it a girls weekend and all bunked up at her house (the girls weekend consisted of Other Red, me, little Red and Other Reds three babies). It was really good for me because I am terrified to stay alone and I really think my house is haunted. Not bad haunted just haunted enough to scare me too much to stay here. I would like to go on record that I haven't always been a scared-freak just since having little Red.

The weekend ended up being great. We spent Friday evening watching the Tiger game and the kids ran around the house. Then Saturday we decided to go make a gift for the kids grandmother who is hard to buy for (pictures below.) The kids had a GREAT time (uh hello paint was involved of course they had fun) except for Baby C. She is too little to get involved so just screamed from her stroller. Luckily the other moms in the place seemed to understand. After the Painting event we all went home and the kids took an extra long nap (lucky us) and by the time all little ones started to rise it was dinner, bath, movie and bed time, oh and babysitter time. Other Red and I went with some girl friends out and had a blast. Too much fun really. The kind of fun you do when you don't have to wake up at the crack of dawn with four kids (also one of Other Red's kids was still awake when we go home- late). Not that I look forward to another Boys weekend but I definitely am up for the challenge- if Other Red lets me and Little Red stay over.

Guinea pig or No guinea pig? That is Santa's Dilemma

Guinea pig or No guinea pig? Whats so bad about a little sweet Lenny? My sister Other Red has a big dilemma. Her oldest baby (CC) wants a guinea pig but my sister hates animals (I mean hates animals- nothing to call PETA about but a severe dislike of them). They already have a dog that my sister despises and now CC wants a guinea pig. I say what's the issue, get her one. She is on the verge of not believing any more about Santa and all she has asked for is a guinea pig- so give her one. It seems so simple to me. Let the magic live on!

I thought this might help the argument...

"Their docile nature, their responsiveness to handling and feeding, and the relative ease of caring for them, continue to make the guinea pig a popular pet....They are timid explorers, and rarely attempt to escape from their cages, even when an opportunity presents itself." Source http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guinea_pig I know Other Red is very scared of these sweet little animals -which could possibly stem from growing up with me -who's multitude of animals were often found roaming the house.

I thought it would be an easy decision for my sister too but apparently this is causing great heartburn for her. So I wanted to post this in support of Lenny (for those without children that is the Guinea pig from Wonder Pets and he rocks!)

VOTE LENNY!

List of knowledge for new moms

Some work friends and girl friends are expecting their first babies- yeah! So I thought I would start collecting random but helpful advice for the soon to be mommies. Advice that maybe no one else will tell you and the books that do tell you are too boring and long to read. Also advice that might not sound good or make you feel like a great mom but hey they are realistic.

I am going to start a list and keep adding, so comments and recommendations are greatly appreciated. These are in no particular order but separately by pre-baby and post-baby.

Pre-Baby

1. Yes people will want to touch your stomach. Tell those weirdos to back off.
2. Just cave to the cravings, its really your only time too and its fun! Especially since you can't drink.
3. For those friends that only invite you because you can be the designated drive, tell them they will be the first person you call for a babysitter. They might rethink the situation.
4. The baby will suck the life out of you and kept going after they are born. I know they are cute and all but they really do. Its not bad to think or feel that way either. You will love them regardless.

Post- Baby

1. If you feel like you might shake the baby because she has been crying non-stop, just put the baby down and go outside and smoke. While smoking is bad for you, it really does help in those situations. If you don't want to smoke, make yourself a BIG tall glass of bourbon- no ice.
2. You don't lose the weight before you leave the hospital. Sorry, you might be skinny but you will be wearing maternity clothes out of the hospital. Just get over it now.
3. Babies are all cute and fun at the hospital and then you go home and it gets very scary. Just remember they grow up and turn into little humans that can talk. This is just a phase.
4. If you like the baby phase, be realistic and know that one day they will grow up and talk, so enjoy every minute.
5. Your body does some weird stuff. I mean really weird. Just be sure to cover up the top part- no one wants to see your post-baby boobs.
6. Go back to work. Just do it. No one will judge you and then you will actually have time to yourself. If you don't go back to work then have someone that can give you breaks. Babies are great and all but damn you need a break.
7. This baby will test you and your marriage- just remember life only gets better.

Okay that is all for now....more to come.

You had her at "Tigger Shoes"

It's no secret that my imaginative child likes to dress up. She has tried many times to wear her tutu and crown to school. While I am sure they would be okay with her attire, I try to make her look somewhat normal for school.

At home, all rules are off and she can dress however she wants. So that includes Tutus, weird Tigger shoes (courtesy of the Count) and my Target brand high heels. I thought it would be fun to share the pictures.

I would like to take this moment to thank The Count who brought us possibly the ugliest shoes possible knowing that my sweet little baby would want to wear them every day. Revenge is sweet- that's all I have to say.

"They pulled their guns on Hillary"

"They pulled their guns on Hillary" that is how my conversation started with my sister (for the sake of this blog we will call my sister Other Red.) Other Red and her husband (lets call him Italian Man) are notorious for having their house alarm go off. I think the City of Memphis started their False Alarm Fine rules because of Other Red and Italian Man. For some reason, their alarm just goes off allot and although their alarm company calls everyone on their list, the police almost always go out to their house. So this past Sunday was no exception. When I got the call from Other Red's alarm company about their alarm going off, I just ignored it (sorry but its the truth Other Red). Apparently they also called Big Red (my husband- I know there are allot of Red's in the family) and he cared enough to put Little Red in the stroller and walk to Other Reds. The fine Memphis police people had apparently done a thorough job of searching the house and after a small misunderstanding with Hillary they went along on their way and deemed the alarm as just another false alarm.

So who is Hillary one might ask? Well think really hard about this past election and the Hillary is that Hillary. So why would Hillary be in my sister's house? Well apparently Other Red and Italian man are raising some very independent and strong minded little girls in their house. The oldest child of Other Red/Italian man (by the way she is redheaded too) was a HUGE Hillary supporter. There were many a'nights when my sister got the speech about how women should support women and so on. Anyway, some how Other Red's daughter received a gift of a more-than-life-size Hillary Clinton cut out. It is so big and in the dark it can be very scary. But apparently not to Other Red's red-headed daughter who considers it a prize possession.

The funny part and end of this story is that when the police were going through the house they turned the corner to look in the daughters room and there staring back at them was Hillary Clinton and they pulled their guns. Luckily no one was shot.

If you don't believe me check out this picture. Hillary even traveled Midtown with us on our campaign for change.

I actually do have proof. Does that count for anything?

I have the stretch marks and c-section scar to prove I have had a child. However, sometimes I find it hard to believe little Red is mine. People who don't know the fam thinks she looks just like me but that's just the hair- she looks and acts like her daddy. This morning she declared that she didn't want me to change her clothes or brush her hair or take her to school. And for the first time ever she didn't cry when I dropped her off at school, she just sashayed up to the teacher showed her the new book she was proudly displaying and blew me a kiss- "Bye Bye Momma." Like get the hell out of here, I got people to see. I love the fact that she is independent and strong minded but it would be nice to just once cuddle up to me or hug me or something.

My friend "The Count" told me about research that came out that said people are cutting out presents to friends and family or reducing the presents by 60% but people still plan to buy presents for their pets (not sure the source on this one). So what does that say about our society? Does it mean that our pets are held in a higher regard than our friends, siblings, parents, colleagues?

As I think about this, I think, 1.) I have really never bought my dogs a gift (besides some cute toys from the pet store when buying the essentials - like FOOD), 2.) White and Red Dog wouldn't know the difference if they got a gift and I can say for certain white dog would forget about it in 10 minutes, and 3.) just petting their heads makes them feel like a queen/king. So why do dogs need gifts? Don't call PETA on me or anything, I love my dogs, I just can't image cutting out my mom or sister to buy for my dog. Just seems strange to me.

My gift to White and Red dog is this picture on the world wide web for all to see. Merry Christmas!

Blog Stalkers.

So I have heard about these blog stalkers that are out there and I think its pretty interesting. They silently follow your blog but are too nervous to comment. My question is how can they be
"stalkers" when you post your information out there for the world to see. Isn't that the point? Plus isn't there some type of justification or satisfaction when you know your blog is interesting enough for someone to want to come back?

I guess I didn't have a problem with stalkers or silent readers as I like to think of them as, until a friend from worked asked if I had a blog and then basically named my blog. I mean I did put it out there for the world to see, except of course for work people, ex-boyfriends or any one else I might want to blog about. So to you work people out there...read at your own risk and don't take anything personally. Everyone is game but is covered under my anonymity clause.

Happy Reading!

"Bush leaving office more unpopular than Nixon"

I have really tried hard to not make this a political blog, but I just had a short comment on the cnn.com article, Bush leaving office more unpopular than Nixon. Really, are you kidding me? No joke. Like we all didn't see that coming. He is the worst president we have ever seen in office. Why even waste your time writing the CNN article? Anyone could have told you that.

Thank goodness this country voted for change!

Back house for Rent

Does anyone need a back house to rent? if so, my very awesome and single neighbor has a back house for rent. Its cheap and nice, did I say she is single?

My sweet little Red’s new word is Patience

My sweet little Red’s new word is Patience. Yes you read right, Patience. I guess I must say it too much. But at least it's better than a bad word.

So that brings up the question, are people only given a certain threshold for patience? I will tell you my patience is very low but having little Red has definitely helped. When I am at work my patience seems to be even worse though. Some people might blame it on my hair but that’s a myth and really a blog for another day. So really, what is the average patience level? Are some people more inclined to have the patience gene? Are we all on the same playing field but others handle themselves better? There was an article in the CA yesterday that talked about how to respond to difficult customers in a professional manner. Is that not just a form of patience? I have a low tolerance for lazy people and people who can’t help themselves (maybe that is lazy too) but does that really require patience? Is my baby going to have no patience because I have ruined her by trying to teach her such an adult behavior at such a young age? I guess one day I will find out. Oh well, if you have the answers let me know!

Bye Bye Mr. Ratatouille, Hello Chip and Dale

So the great news in this wonderful neighborhood of Midtown, Mr. Ratatouille and his young family have moved on to the after life. After hundreds of man hours and dollars, we have evicted our uninvited guests.

Yeah! Cause for a celebration and bottle of wine, right?! Well not quiet yet. It seems that Mr. Ratatouille had told his forest friends of our vacancy and we just found out that Chip and Dale have moved into the basement. We have sent one to the after life with the other four legged creatures but who knows if Chip or Dale is still hanging out in the basement, waiting for their friend to return. Big Red is convinced he can catch Chip without the help of an expert but if I recall that is what got us into the Mr. Ratatouille problem. So as the Justin Timberlake song says, "What goes around, goes around, goes around, goes back around"!

I am thinking about hanging a sign that says, "Yes we except all forest creatures in all rooms in our house, just don't let the dogs disturb you."